Well, if we want to have a super typical intro to any blog, my name is Emma, I am 25 and I have anxiety and mild depression sounding very much like a typical mid-20’s person at this time. Which in reality is quite a sad fact that the pressures of the modern world are that much that everyone struggles. However, I have learnt that writing about it can really take a load off of your chest and show everyone that you aren’t alone.

First things first, there are a few dates that really stick in my mind where my whole life has changed multiple times.

12/01/17, May 2017, 18/06/18, 07/08/18

Now to they seem like very bizarre days but each one has a key event that affected me dramatically. On the 12th January 2017, I had an epileptic seizure after being clear for 5 years. Now some would think oh well, it happens move on. Unfortunately, that one seizure triggered a massive struggle with social anxiety which then leads in to May 2017 where the second seizure came out of the blue and bang, hit the wall of depression to. I could barely leave the house for more than 2 minutes without having a panic attack, walking to the shop was a problem, everything that I had felt like it had been stripped away from me. It felt like nothing would ever get better, like I would never be able to go to work again, walk the dog, go to a shop, that I would be housebound for the rest of my life. Of course in hindsight, I know that this was not the case but at the time, its how it felt. In a seperate post, I will go in to how I progressed from this person to who I am now.

Fast forward a year or so to the 18th June 2018, I started a new job. (See, a lot of progress from the year before) I was, like everyone, pretty nervous on my first day, much bigger office then my old one, new people to meet, bigger team, everything was very daunting but I knew I could do it. However, what I didn’t realise is that this one day, this one job, could completely turn my life around for, even if it doesn’t seem it now, the better. Now this might sound slightly over-dramatic but having reviewed the events that followed, if I hadn’t got this job, I doubt I would be where I am now.

I will come back to the above but lets add a month to the 7th August 2018, my nearly 6 year relationship ended. Unfortunately, due to the nature of my actions, it did not end how I would have liked it to end and if I could go back and re-do it I would or even not do anything at all. After this point, I thought life would get easier, I thought that it would be hard for a little bit, lots of things to be sorted but I was wrong. I spent so long insisting that I was okay when in fact, I was just suppressing all the thoughts I had until again, I was at risk of falling apart again. This is something I was determined to not allow to happen again.

Overall, as you can see, an event, however big or small can really impact your mental health. Some people may have traumatising events that cause issues and some people minor events but it doesn’t make anyone more right to help than anyone else or mean that no one is equal when it comes to mental health. It’s not about who is worse off, who is more depressed than the next person, it’s about ensuring everyone understands it is okay to talk about it, okay to seek help, that you are never a burden on someone. I fully appreciate it is the hardest task of all having been someone who really struggles to trust people enough to open up to them due to fear of them judging me and I just generally find it difficult.

The purpose of this blog will be to start from the beginning and log some key events/things I have achieved whilst also blogging about how each week has been for me so it will be a bit of back and forthing in time. If anyone ever wants to chat then please feel free to email me on the email address on the contact card or wants some referencing material for self-help guides which I have many of.

Just always remember, things will get better, we will come out the other side and defeat this.

x